El Rey Gran Saman 70%

This is the worst chocolate I've ever had. It is straight up awful and no chocophile should have to suffer through a taste of it. If you buy this chocolate you'll be sorry you spent four bucks on something that's barely edible.

Now you might be saying that it couldn't have been that bad, and that it's only a matter of personal preference. Maybe so, but I think that chocolate in this price range should have a decent amount of chocolate flavor and the texture should be smooth. This one is neither.

To begin with, it's downright ugly. There's a thin coat of gray film that looks like someone rubbed their cigarette butts on it. Oddly enough, it smells like an ash tray! The texture is hard, brittle, and dry when you clamp down on it. You take a few bites and it just crumbles in your mouth! Gross! The taste is even worse. As you put it in your mouth you get a whiff of medicine, which is basically what it tastes like. The worst part is that there isn't even much cocoa taste to make up for it. It's sort of there, mildly floating along, but masked by the taste of medicine.

The only nice thing I can say about this one is that the aftertaste has a surprising hint of marzapan, but you'll only notice it if you can get over the gray taste in the back of your throat.

Unless you like grainy chocolate or the taste of medicine, do not eat this one. Because I can't bare to eat the rest of it but can't throw away a four dollar chocolate bar in the trash either, I'm going to keep the rest of it in the fridge to remind myself never to buy it again.